So you found your Valentine ! You exchanged Roses, chocolates , Gifts. You dined & danced together and celebrated the festival of Love – The valentine week.
Table Of Content
Then, What’s next ? The bigger challenge is How to keep your Love.
Love Vs Romance
First things first. You should know whether its Love or Romance ? or May be both !
How is Love different from Romance ?
Love is an intimate relationship between two persons who share a deep emotional bond & connection. Emotional bond is the key word here.
Romance is a feeling of intense affection, attraction & passion between two adults.
- Romance tends to fade over time, Love gets deeper with time
- Romance is more about attraction & passion, Love is more about connection & commitment
- Romance is best expressed by Gifts, Love Notes & Dates, love is best expressed by Sharing, caring & just spending quality time together
Love & Romance complement each other. Romance brings spark to Love, Love enhances intensity of Romance
Reel Life Vs Real Life Love
In romantic stage of relationship, couples are on a “High”. Every thing looks picture perfect. Couples in romance dream of living a love life ” The Titanic” or “The Twilight” way – Happily Ever After.
But Love in Real life is far from Love in Reel life. In real life, challenge begins only “After”.
Romance begins to fade away . Couples begin to see the “not so good” in each other. “dislikes” become points of discussion. Discussions begin to turn into arguments….and so on.
How to keep your Love
Love is like a dog. If you don’t feed it or care for it, it will run away with a nice looking spaniel.
So , how do “keep” your love ?
Maintaining long term relationships is challenging. It requires continuous, active & intentional work by both the partners.
To keep love alive “ever after”, couple must remain continuously aware of each other’s emotional needs which keep changing with time. This is possible only through effective communication between the couple.
The 5 Love Languages
Do you know, Dr Gary Chapman ( American author ) promoted the concept of “Love languages”. He postulated the theory that couples communicate through 5 basic Love languages
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
While every couple uses each of above 5 love languages at some time or other in varying degree, there is one primary love language which is preferred over other four love languages , as above, by every partner.
So, You need to understand the love language of your partner and communicate with them in their preferred love language.
For instance, if your partner’s primary love language is “Words of affirmation”, you should appreciate them genuinely or validate their feelings.
Or if your partner’s primary love language is “Acts of Service”, you should help them in their routine chores
Balance in Emotion Account
Another way of “Keeping” your love is to maintain a healthy balance in your Emotion Account with them.
We all maintain an Emotion Account of each person in our life just as a Bank maintains a Savings or current A/c of its customers. Love deposits are held in “Emotion A/c”.
Every positive interaction by a person increases balance in his/her Emotion Account and Every negative interaction by a person decreases balance in his/her Emotion Account.
More the balance in Emotion Account, stronger is the emotional connection with the person (And stronger the feeling of Love)
With right love language & regular “Love Deposits” , a good balance can be maintained in Emotion Account.
So, understand the love language of your partner. Make regular positive interactions in their preferred love language .Its like making regular Love deposits in emotion account of your partner.
However, do remember that Emotion Account comes with a rider. It takes 4 “Love deposits” to offset 1 “Love withdrawal”
Love knows no Season
Is Love seasonal ? Certainly Not. If its seasonal, its not Love. Love can be felt & expressed any time.
Having got your Love, don’t stop working on it. Maintain communication & keep making Love deposits in Emotion Account. Celebrate & keep your love round the year . Year after Year
Being loved by some one deeply gives you strength and to love some one deeply gives you courage.
